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Monthly ArchiveApril 2017

Blast from the past: What makes bureaucrats (IAS,IPS,IRS,IFS) rich?

Let’s see who the IAS/IPS/IRS/IFS or let’s say IXS are

If you’re aware of Indian ways, to call them the only literate human resource in the entire government set up or the captain of any government team that you interact with if you have to, would be no exaggeration.

Who and what is government?

Government is that party you created to look after the business of businesses that you didn’t want to care about. Security, Internal and external, Civic Infrastructure, Rules of living and businesses, your branding and marketing in the external world.

Assuming that we began poor, and we had only Government after God, which we still assume, we said we’ll give maximum things to government to control, which anyways had to be guided by government. So we created another god. The government. And we always knew that God will never be available to us all the time, so we asked our government to put someone who is always present, agreeing to pay from our pockets. We Got IXS.

Now let’s see who these IXS are. Factoring in all the laws and regulations, government has 30% of the declared trade volume held with it at any given moment, to let carry the transaction. So the government has 1trilion dollars with it to all the time annually, being managed by these IXS. Assuming 30000 IXS, one IXS executes 660 crores of declared trade every year. Even if you factor in exact figures, there would fluctuation of 5–10 crores, 600+ crore to be on the safer side Each IXS executing 600 crores. That is being one Anand Mahindra.

That is one IXS. Anand Mahindra might well fail, might well default, might not trade 600 crores but IXS will. He’s never out of business.

Let’s look at who Anand Mahindra is. He’s selling 60% tractors in US since ages, he’s 1/10 of all automobiles in the world, He’s slowly selling fruits and vegetables, he’s building rockets and tanks, he’s doing more than God does for you.

Blame it on the system or our ignorance or whatever, you’ve at your disposal who these IXS are or who should they be, or are they what they’re hyped to be or are they having fun without work or .. There could be endless list. Essentially we choose 1000 Anand Mahindras every year, Do they stand up to that or is the design completely flawed, it’s upto you to figure out.

1 IXS=1 Anand Mahindra. Contrast that with the productivity Only 1 E-Shreedharan in 70 years from the government system.

This should tell you why IXS are rich, how are they rich or how poor are they. And should an IXS read this, please feel happy to be ashamed, hang in shame. You love being important but clueless while delivering. You’re simply those incompetent corporate discards cashing in for the so called constitutional importance.

In 70 years you couldn’t figure out ways to count the transactions happening. Is there any point where government ceases not to exercise or not to take money, starting from toll tax to any ridiculous levy. You manage to fail only when giving back. And you call yourselves IAS, attach Indian and Service.

Imagine an Anand Mahindra allowed to lose all that Mahindra group sold, year after year. That about the declared trade. This is how an IXS is rich


Why UID for Cows is the Smartest Human move ever

In India, if you’re aware, we’ve the world’s smartest and sophisticated ID-programme. Aadhar or UID (Unique Identification), we call it. But for its scales and capacities and utilities, its a magic device. It gives you a number which turns you a God should you wish to be. And recently, its Union Government mooted for assigning the same on Cows. Cow- the controversial animal, that it is, and that amongst a dumb population as India, they’re having a roll. Let’s see how we could teach these dumb Indians, Governance, Science and UID.
UID for Cows would be the best India innovation Indians have done ever in eternity. Scientifically- akin to assigning tracking IDs to food molecules- right at the outset into the food chain, that. You know which molecule you’re to eat. Is it going in adulterated or the bonds those atoms form. Where the adulteration, what the adulteration. Soil change Climate change or the Human changed, which one, where. The cow which may not have been mother, turning her into now, for certain. All of it by just putting a UID. UID- Zero number two after Zero itself from India.
UID is serial IDs to souls, if I’m not wrong. Indians? Yes, it is. Just that you don’t know. By UID- you can count. The last time you gave them zero to help them count. While counting made them go mechanical and dumber, for the humans. Small people – tiny human- the animal or notches higher to apes, that they are, 2 world wars and around 8.9 million known others- the wars or lethal escalations they’ve had, in 2000 years. All that because they could count enough, just because of that bloody zero. Humans, they think they did uproot something being human but on the other hand, without realising for one zero, and they couldn’t make it 2000 even, the years. I don’t know how old is the earth, but 2000 I know is tiny. I feel I would do that much alone! But then even from normal, modest, poor low affair human standards 2000 is low, considering you managed ozone hole without a comet hitting you.
Can someone predict when Jupiter can’t skid off it’s course? Any law ?
So 2000 years is low. Even from poor standards, or even from human ones. And all for they could count. Where the game happened. When Aryabhatta came dumb. Copyright he didn’t have. “Hey here  0. Vasudhaiv Kutumbamakam. 0. You can count!” See how sexy is this, attach a place value, with this curve, count how many Kgs Onions you produced. Problem sorted. You can count now, all those extra. Easy. Isn’t it ? 0. Zero, here. Count on. Vasudhaiv Kutumbakam.” He added again.  I don’t know what he did thereafter. Probably, he was a Brahmin, must have been treacherous by birth, as they say. I don’t know if he reared a cow, or if a PETA supporter or any relationship with the animal as well. 0 Vasudhaiv Kutumbakam he said, the last heard.
Cow-Rakshaks, Brahmins, Indians, may you settle your own identities woes. May you hold your hearts as well. I’m going to tell you where the game happened. That’s going to tell how dumb you’ve been. And Brahmins or Indians, whichever way it strikes you, it’s not meant to strike the pleasant way either. So whichever off the Brahmins or Indians is greater, let me give it on face, it was Aryabhatt who was Aryabhatt, nobody knows where his sperms went. It isn’t certainly in this set not in the present 1.7 Billion. None of you have the claims of inheritance rights. And neither the fool kept it a family business. Had he, Apple wala i-0 it would have been. Phone the humans would have still made.
I don’t know if it’s the greatness is to be attributed to Origins of India or not, had I been Aryabhatt, I’d have rather had started a counting business. Facilities where people would queue up to be stamped, to reconcile, and certification to numberings. All these standards and metrics, would have been my company’s.
Fast forward to 1990s.
Humans they were. Invasion, rapes, wars, slavery, world wars, cars, condoms, all they had already had. Human race just went here & there, a little more dispare or unequal. But they developed fairly well over the millenniums. Planes, missile, 5 stars, cars, escorts, all those they’d invented and discovered. And in the meanwhile the Peninsula South of Himalayas had trifurcated by then. I don’t know what about greatness of India, or Indians but I know if you’ve Khalifas & Brits around, what happened was bound to happen, and it happened. Neither it was Ram nor Rahim, marking a dog shaped territorial boundary. That happened in 1947 and since then Khalifas have reached Syria. They send lovely whatsapp videos. And you’d be surprised to know, the whole world, including death, they still converge into Varanasi. So by 1991, the dog shaped Khalifa Rodents, they thought they got advanced. Though they didn’t know, they were born rodent or simians at best. Scavenging along the ground, that’s all they knew.
1991 onwards, through mountains, the Khalifas started sending Rodents to get killed. And this is where the Game happened after it had already happened. The Area, the need, not the instant, not the geography, not the religion, not the ethnicity. The need was human. The need was reconciliation, the need was the step next to count.
The need was Governance. Zero was to count. To Count was to govern. To Govern, you’re to reconcile. You could count your way to reconcile, but to govern you’d to part. To govern your way in, to reconcile you had to. To reconcile, but what? How?
Serial numbers – Tracking id. One common standard hook, it needed. And Indians, hold your breath, you $1500 human bodies, it’s going to tell you the size of yours, of your brains and souls, your values and class. It’s just accidentally, courtesy your huge numbers, the kind of need, for which I really thank Pakistan, the Khalifa Rodents to press the need, the UID- happened.
The need was to reconcile humans, at human levels. For Governance and sanity. In US they needed it by 1930s, elsewhere little later. The schedules were tight & busy at war rooms. Zero, was found & recognised by whom who needed to count, to count more than 9. The same way, to reconcile was needed to to those who needed to govern. And the guy who came up with the idea, wasn’t Aryabhatt. I feel team work or some employee it must have been. Nobody knows the name who came with the idea, to have serial numbers to humans. And Vasudhaiv Kutumbakam the guy didn’t know perhaps. Neither did Nilekani even. So hold on for the VK concept. UID- is – Vasudhaiv Kutumbakam Plug and Play. A device which can turn you God. So let me make you understand the game.
For it wasn’t 5 th Century AD, this time nobody was to tell you hey, this is the key to Governance. And 0 is in itself too big, to tell you the next need. For this zero was a need a level higher- of Governance. And nobody was to tell you , ” hey we found a solution, see, zero number 2, SAN, one number to create dashboards. An awesome tool for Governance man”. There was some first guy, who used, then whether they aped, they copied, didn’t matter. They who needed, they made it their own. Some standard Governance id
Indians/Pakistanis they just needed voter cards. PAN separate, and all shit different. Governance they needed never. So they built their own, they lived, as per the need. And for it wasn’t Aryabhatt, it neither got public like public, the relevance, the need the effect. Vasudhaiv Kutumbakam, it requires intellect, it’s a class. Not a Human’s cup of tea. It requires a billion to recall your name everyday to get that clarity.
But after you start finding Rodents similar to yourself,but different in origin, specially for things as crucial as life & death, the Indians needed an ID finally by force or by Vajpayee don’t know. In India even if it’s by force, they need 10 years and a Modi or a Vajpayee to decide, to react, that too reluctantly. So the Indians needed, a Governance id, the one with a capacity to solve for uniqueness and the size as well. And for its India- The Peninsula of South of Himalayas, for it the barrier or boundaries and territories never mattered. All it had to have the ability to distinguish or a Governance Resolution at a billion level. Only biometrics had to be the answer. And for 50 years of IIT to have been reared, something had to come out of it. So off the need came UID- Aadhaar.
By Aadhar, you place a tracking ID to a soul or the item so widely available, and then count and reconcile. And that’s how Governance they’d have defined, should they knew anything else but to mug all that American Defining societies put.
Governance- The business of making laws bound to all uniformly.
If IIT- Powai could have taught marketing better, it would have been known Universal Identification, and by the time it was being developed, had it been Modi for Manmohan, Vasudhaiv Kutumbakam Plug and Play would have come in 2004. Also if United Nations if at all it worked, the way it proclaims, if they had brains, a UID should have been the first thing they should have required. Provided they came into existence on the back of war. I wonder what do they do and how?
The world could have been better off only with S&P
So UID is that magic device that links back you to earth. Turning you God, should you have Godly instincts, to rule and govern an eco-system. While they all have a similar device to the size they thought, India’s the best, most intelligent, for the scales. And for the units of Global population and India’s has always to be in same units same- that is Billions, it’s the most comprehensive. And Should they attach country-codes to a UID, One world One family they could think of. And One common dashboard for humanity they could have with visibility at individual levels. Neither would they require names, nor passports. Just a number, and they could know who’s the terrorist, and who the Saint. Who needs what, who does what.
Let’s see how it works and how it makes smart to give that to cows.
At high school, if you ever went and studied, and knew what you studied, in biology, you died cells or of instruments if you read, say MRI scans radio-died molecules. As in you put in your spy in cells, or introduce a identifier vehicle to deduce trails. By UID, you do the same for populations. Once you administer each of them in a population with number, you’ve individual trails. Now it’s all about how and to what levels you trace, of how much you know. Better your ERP, the more informed you’re, and thus decisions.
Now let’s see the machine the cow is. Cow, is the link from Ground to your stomachs and food. The cow grazes. The cow eats, the cow processes. The cow has health, the cow lives grounded. With milk, beyond milk, with UID to the bovine, you add a point of visibility into the food chain. Which soil, what adulterants, what food, which cow ill, what change in food, which region, all whats and hows, you control all. You know all. And dairy industry, rural penetration, geo-surviellance, climate, digital literacy, reach per rural human body all could be beneficiaries, until you dumb humans could fight it out. Off privacies you could experiment over the cow. While she could play the mother for governance, for food, for your experiments. All.
And off humans, Indians, I wonder you figured the game. This time they invented Zero number two, they didn’t tell you, you didn’t know. But they had it all. And now that you’ve one, you don’t know on your own. Probably waiting for the queen to approve. While talks about privacy the civilisation hooked to porn, be it commoner on the railway platform or the lawmaker in the parliament or assemblies, the civilisation yet to cover itself 70 year still after the semi-nude father, dying on streets and fields, the human bodies on rent, the $1500 humans, or are they?

Chat with Muhammad Ali- I

My soul was roaming somewhere at heights as it bumped into Muhammad Ali. These days I wander anyways a lot, seeking some inspiration, I need tons of them for the while. So just as he was going, I caught up with him, you already know his soul remained around us for a while

Hi … Ali

He turned and then kept walking

Ali uncleee….

He stopped, turned and stared,”Me? And Uncle ?? You know who I’m ?”

Aaahh.. yes sir.. sorry The greatest So you’re going.

No coming.. and he started walking again

Uncle… sorry the greatest… I wanted some help.

He turned back…Who are you? What help?

I’m… Manoranjan..anyways what’s there in name.. just thought I could get some inspiration from you.

Inspiration? What inspiration? Where are you from


I knew and he starts laughing

Sorry.. I didn’t get it. And why are you laughing

Nothing Son,.. as he controlled his laughter.. Only an Indian could ask these stupid questions. And before you ask, I’m very happy that I’m going. I’m going to be healthy and playing again. Indians..hahah

Ya our land is a bit funny. But that is our way of starting conversation. You look far too excited on moving away from here

Shouldn’t I? Was trapped there for so long.. and this disease. Finally moving out. By the way don’t you think this is too far to seek inspiration.

Yes it is.  And then I saw downwards. But it happens, desperate times, desperate measures !

Desperate Indians… That would be make a terrible tribe!!

Desperate .. may be. what is so wrong in that. In my situation anyone would be same. I’ve done no wrong. And what is this thing with India. You’ve been mocking up so much

Meanwhile we see Mathura City SP walking

You appear so touched. You see that brave officer walking uncannily. Looks like he didn’t even have a deserving farewell.. Oh yes, you folks only have deserving funerals

Unfortunately yes. Life is relatively cheaper at our place. But then this would not be the right metric. Take US also. You’re going with two names, and with a nervous disorder. Your own country isn’t very heavenly either.

Hahahah That’s why I’m going. You’re killing my time.

Looks like you got touched now ! You see these humans from here. So many of them engaged into random goals, random activities, all in quest to make their life better. Actualization and getting better takes time. Doesn’t it ?  Does it make a difference from here? Can you distinguish between cities from here ?

That is Delhi, that one below that layer of smoke. You see I can
You see that blue patch there. I guess its New York.

Are you playing smart with me? I’m going home, you realise that

Yes I do, this is why I came here. You’d be the last super hero for the mankind from your age. I wanted some….

Inspiration .. right ?

Aah yes.

I know what that means to Indians. I’ve seen some Bollywood movies.  You won’t be able to take it

India is not all about Bollywood. You see we’re almost launching your satellites as well these days. And Bollywood also don’t copy exactly, and not always.

Yeah that’s because copying also requires skill!

What would you call ‘A Common Man’ or ‘Delivery Man’ or Pearl harbor then ?

Fine! You know what, you Indians talk a little too more. Anyways, tell me what inspiration you want?

Speechless… Inspiration as in Inspiration, ways to get out of the mess I’m in.

You’re already half way here, come with me, you’re already out … and he starts laughing.

No, not this kind, they’ll laugh over me down there.

Wow, I didn’t know I’m with a big man. So you don’t want to become a laughing stock

Well, the tape has gone missing.  10 months it has been.  Tell us what happened next. Help me remember ! For its inspiration from the Greatest, its not coming cheap. The top 5 closest guesses get $100 each.

Inspiration… Is it a good thing? What it is ?








To Gurmehar- The Engineering of Nationalita 2017- (The Teaser)


Congratulations. On the recent fame. An exciting thing to have at 20. A JIT (just in time) component in future manufacturing, specially for those ‘Make it Large’ kinds. Or the unfair most advantage you could dream of. For instance, all by yourself, today, should you wish, you could start a marketing-advertising company with reach over a million unique individuals on Day 0. Humans, because they trade and grade, they’ve this ‘making luck happen’ point which come round as T-junctions embedded in their life-package. Every human life has that, invariably. Winners make it count while beggars lose, but they have it all. And this that you just had, which by now has become ‘recent’ was yours. Perhaps the most major one, irrespective of your own evaluation. Your first interaction with world, one on one, a luxury that only Entrepreneurs have- to deal with population one on one. So you’ve run yourself into some achievement. Gurmehar who until just a while back was some precious beautiful girl, is now also important. And now a brand with market penetration. She’s gone into the history. That recorded digitally.

In 3050, some 1000s of years post 2021 when they teach kids the science, scope, reliability and veracity of history, they’ll talk about digital records as evidences in addition to archaeological, literary, pictorial, mortal remains, and so on. And when they do that, they’ll know  Gurmehar existed, as they talk of Delhi then. And somewhere, deep into clouds or cyber-fossils, out of excavations around the film city around Noida, and or those innumerous data centres,  will they find evidences. And then they’ll be explaining how Indians perished, listing who their invaders were.

India- The Neo-medieval history – NCERT  Revised Edition 3050 

Descending over a massive multi-pronged war by the beginning of first century ST, India kept on enduring continuous a war effectively  by virtue of armoured encounters in small packs. They came in  two formats (i) terrorism sourced along or outside the international borders, and (ii) naxalism motivated deep inside. Into the second decade (18ST), even as they liberalised, that is being forced to liquidate the stake in controls of the (not so) democratically elected governments, owing to obvious incompetency, they kept on taking bullet hits across the porous borders. However, as they evaded guns outside, did they some hard work in beds. Over decades that paid off. They’d customers every nook and corner, customer on the left, customer on the right, customer less than a cuddle away, customer everywhere. From scooters to soda, from floppies to reels, they guzzled it all. Not to miss the human competition to outdo each other. Into the the third decade (20 ST onwards), they started getting some eyeballs, courtesy IIT and cricket. But also came round hijackings, from planes to positions. They released Azhars and Lalus, Tytlers and Telgis. Massacred in trains and markets, Delhi and Mumbai, Chambal and Jharkhand, Dantewada and Tinsukia. Gangrened. Still huddled, yet again. And the sperms rallied around. Came in “Team India“, “India Inc.“, came the rupee symbol ₹. With highs, came also the lows in tandem. Died Dewang, died Batra, died UnniKrishnan. Died justice, died education, died the sundry entrepreneur. What didn’t die unfortunately never, their trust in God and importance of Babus. Fast forward somewhere into the 4th decade, came a firebrand, dynamic, state of the art, articulate, knowledgeable and the savior with a genuine smile, the hero, Kenahaiya Kumar the great. The messiah to black blind rules and anarchy. Talked of freedom he, when neither were Indians allowed to speak, nor to earn. They had universal reservations (SC/ST/EBC/OBC), they’d reservations in paid (VYAPAM/ CBSE leak, UPSC leak, IIT leak, CAT leak, Coalgate….gat)e. No they weren’t gates, express corridors in fact, of the Babus, the selected rodents to scavenge papers. They drained. But they pushed, yet again! Rained billions, moonwalked Flipkarts, drove Olas, fed Zomatoes, delivered Swiggies. Joined a rockstar. He flew a lot. But came back Uri, came again Una. There was Malda, there was Dadri. And then there was Kashmir. Up above, with mountains. That built pressure. Came a cyclone, not Katrina, not typhoon, not Rita. Nationalita it was.

Page 2|Current Affairs|Competition Success Review |August 3044

From cyber-fossils excavated, near the historical crime city of Noida, famous for early morning-robberies then, Google has pulled up hugest data mountains ever through its Data Sensing Cloud Pyrolator Engine. The engine equipped of future generation semantics claims to pull, assort and collate all used form of vocabulary in any medium aligned to respective contexts.  It works like some text magnet, which has pulled up two huge mountains under context ‘Freedom’ and ‘Poverty’. While the data processing is still under process, they’ve already processed 32000 and 156794 Bn TKUs (text keeping units) under respective heads. “If all text printed and piled, it would dwarf Himalayas by more than 18 times, just the freedom part. Good” enough to print a new mountain Freedomalayas”, said  Atyant Sundar, CEO Google. The extrication process has also revealed more intricate details on freedom struggles during the first century ST which as believed by many triggered the gradual collapse of the great Indian democracy.

Now, Some  Straight Stories

So, a long imaginary blabber I guess. May it remain so. Tragedies should be  better off as fiction. But that doesn’t avert tragedies. Right? It just leaves you ignorant. And, ‘Ignorance’ should be a modest word for Indians. I think ‘Treachery’ suits them better. One can’t remain ignorant, impoverished, illiterate and yet emerging for 1500 years in a row. From Mahmud of Ghazni to East India Company to Unilever to Pepsi to Amazon, we’ve been emerging. Ironically while no invader died poor, Indians- the 16% of the world or every 6th confirmed Prega News, clubbed together make for world class beggars at 1.2% the Global wealth. And as they say, charity begins at home, the top 1%, the reserved and preserved sperms reserve 58% of the Indian pie. Even as beggars keep on begging on trivial substrates like Jat/Muslim/Women for other customised reservations. So Gurmehar, this is India.